Do I have your attention with that title?
“Oh, yeah!” many spouses roar.
“Oh, no,..,” others’ voices trail off ….
One wife journaled, “I feel like a whore after being with my husband.”
This is our human default showing. We demonstrate the passing pleasures of sin, not God’s enduring pleasures.
By default the passing pleasures are pure chemistry, lust and disgust, and animal like.
In contrast, God’s enduring pleasures are His continuous, joyous, satisfying Life.
Passing pleasures are demanding, grabbing and loveless, right now hunger for the body.
But His enduring pleasures, according to His Word, are love-filled requests in hunger for your mate’s spirit, soul, and body.
In that order.
You love who your spouse is in spirit.
Their identity. Your spouse is at core a spirit in His image.
“For what man knows the things of a man, except the spirit of man which is in him?” 1 Corinthians 2:11a
Your spouse’s spirit is whom you fell in love with.
Your spouse’s uniqueness is just for you.
Your spouse’s soul is that spirit clothed with mind, will, and emotions.
And finally, your spouse’s spirit and soul are clothed in a glorious body.
God made you to desire your spouse to belong to you, and designed you to hunger for them.
And only them.
Sex is God’s purist indicator of knowing Him.
Of course, the most intimacy in marriage is found in love-making.
And amazingly, marriage is actually a picture of our relationship with God.
Though sermons on marriage invariable quote from the last half of Ephesians 5, Paul says, “But I’m not actually talking about human marriage.”
“I beg your pardon, Paul, but that’s all you’ve been talking about since verse 22.”
“No, I”m talking about you and God.”
“(31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (32) This is a great mystery, but I am really speaking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32
This is as if God was saying through Paul, “Marriage is first about you and Me, first individually and also corporately as the church.”
If we never marry, we believers still have been ‘married/joined’ to Him.
Human marriage is a subset of our individual marriages to Him, and can be no better. Human marriage is reflective; if our relationships with our spouses aren’t good, then neither are our relationships with Him.
Marriage is not about rights, disinterest (an I don’t want you rejection of your spouse), deprivations, and issues of power and control.
In Him, you lost your rights to go your own way, and act as badly as you want, punishing your mate for offenses, both real and imagined.
This is not His way.
If you want to see His life move you out of your death, follow Him and His way.
Request and give.
If there are offenses, then forgive. Join Him in His forgiving them (like He readily forgives you), then come back together.
And when you’re with your spouse, look at them, adore them. Kiss the portals of their existence, their eyes. But most importantly, talk to God first about them. Tell Him how much you love them, how thankful you are that they said yes to you and belong to you. Thank Him for blessing you with such a heavenly gift as your spouse. Be creative with what you tell your loved one, for He, The Creator, is in you, loving both you and your spouse. Then watch Him open the storehouses of His heavenly love in your marriage.
Spirit, soul and body filled sexual intimacy yields deeply bonded relationship that mirrors your spiritual intimacy with The Father, Son, and Spirit. The more you experience with your spouse, the closer you’re experiencing Them. There is nothing better in life than intimately knowing Him, and knowing His great love in and with your spouse.
Loving is truly an art of His Spirit and yours.
“(1) Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. (2) Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. (3) Let the husband kindly render to his wife his marital responsibility: and likewise also the wife to her husband. (4) The wife does not have power over her own body, but the husband does: and likewise also the husband does not have power over his own body, but the wife does. (5) Do not deprive one another, except you agree for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan does not tempt you for your inability to control yourselves. (6) But I appeal to your willingness, that you not feel forced by a commandment.” 1 Corinthians 7:1-6
Request and give.
See Also: Sex